Ask Harmonopoly: The Messy Work of Writing (w/Mandy Shunnarah)

How do you juggle multiple writing projects without making a mess? You don't.

Me (L) and Mandy (R) in the Mostly Dead Things-style flamingo shirts we bought for my birthday, back when it was fun to go outside and buy things.

For today’s column, I’ve been joined by my dear friend and frequent collaborator, Mandy Shunnarah. Mandy runs the stellar book blog Off The Beaten Shelf, has bylines ranging from The Rumpus to Electric Lit, runs a vintage book and fashion store, and generally has ten projects going on at any given time. Who better to help with a question about juggling writing ambitions than her?

Harmony Cox (HC): The question in question: I’m flailing all over the place with my writing projects, torn by desires to move quickly towards a new book and lack of clarity on which format or topic I should focus on. I’m clutching at notes and scraps of things, and also creating grandiose frameworks to contain it, it feels like an undefined mess. What now?

An excellent question! And one I don't necessarily feel qualified to answer, since I started an advice column because I can't focus on a goddamn thing right now. But if I know anyone who can balance a lot of writing projects at once, it's you, so!

Mandy Shunnarah (MS): I find that there's a lot of freedom in having multiple writing projects because it allows me to respect what I can bring to the table each day. My energy levels differ, my mental and emotional bandwidth differs, etc., and I'd much rather have *something* I can work on than to push myself to work on something that I just don't have the capacity for that day. The question makes me think they're trying to force clarity where it's not ready to come yet. When you're early on in a project, you might think you know what form it'll take, but the reality is that it's going to shift A LOT. And that's okay! That's normal and good. 

HC: Yeah, you have to allow room for projects to breathe and grow, and be ready to come back for them when the time is right. Unless I am specifically commissioned to write a piece, I never sit down and write a single draft of something and call it good. Most of my work is amalgamations of two or three drafts of different failed attempts at other things. But I empathize with our reader because it's so hard to give up your ideal of what a piece could be, you know?

MS: True, I know I used to feel like that often, but I realized that me trying to force clarity was making me hate writing. I'd challenge this person to consider why they feel like they need clarity *right now*. So often, clarity doesn't come during the act of writing, it comes from editing. And you can't edit what you haven't written. 

HC: You can't edit what you haven't written! So true. Every writer needs that tattooed on their forehead. Do you think a part of the issue is anxiety? (since let's face it, writing is a Profession for The Anxious)

MS: I totally think anxiety has something to do with it. A strong desire to control things is often at the root of anxiety and what better to control than artistic output? Theoretically, the art we produce should be the thing we have the most control over since it's generated from within, then I think we anxious writers (my medicated ass included) get frustrated when the writing tries to do its own thing. 

HC: YES! We get so mad when our writing tries to get away from us! We're all like terrible pageant moms for our prose.

MS: OMG YES. Gimme the three-foot tall trophies and the ribbons. When does clarity tend to come for you, Harmony? Like at what point in the process (writing + editing)?

HC: Oh, clarity is a process. Humor and satire are easier for me from that perspective because they're very structured, and I can tell if I hit a target well or something is funny or not. Essays and storytelling...whew. Sometimes I don't know the point of a story until after I tell it.

MS: You said it perfectly: "Sometimes I don't know the point of a story until after I tell it." All the more reason to not rush clarity and just focus on writing what excites you that day, that hour, that minute. 

HC: Yes! If you are writing something, it is important to you, and odds are good it will be important to someone else as well. And also, writing is fucking hard and sometimes if you're writing something really important to you that wears your ass out and you have to take a break! Your brain is tired!

MS: Seriously!!! A tired brain doesn't mean you're unfocused or a failure. It means you've done good, hard work. Like, if you worked in the yard all day planting seeds, you wouldn't come in tired and beat yourself up because you don't have a full victory garden yet, would you? Shit is hard and it takes time. 

HC: Very true. You aren't failing if you aren't executing everything to a perfect standard right away. Creating is messy, re-iterative work. So how do you pick the projects you're going to focus on? Is it all instinct?

MS: It's definitely instinctual, but I also believe that just like we generate our own creativity, we generate our own passion. I believe creativity and inspiration and passion are all habits, not singular events that we wait around for. So if I can generate passion about something I'm going to want to focus on it and stick with it. If that makes sense?

HC: I mean, it does make sense. But I also can think of a lot of projects I have passion for but, when push comes to shove, I can't get myself to do them consistently. For example, I am passionate about wrestling writing, but it burned me out quickly because of the politics and the mean, shitty fans. But I’m glad I tried it, and it’s still something I like to do now and then.

MS:  It's possible to be passionate about something and decide it's not worthwhile to do, either on a temporary or permanent basis. You mentioned starting this advice column because you're having trouble focusing on a project right now. Are you finding it helpful? 

HC: It's been helpful! Like everyone, creating is a struggle for me right now, but it’s also something I have to do for my mental health. Having a specific structured task to focus on like answering a question is great. Humor and satire writing are also still happening for me right now because there's so much structure involved in doing it correctly. Essays? Storytelling? No ma'am, not today.

MS: That also speaks to why having multiple writing projects in different styles or genres is so beneficial. 

HC: Yes! I think it even makes your work better if you do more than one thing, because one of your art forms can feed the other ones. Like, when I have an essay idea that isn't quite working, I can break it by performing it as a story on stage. That helps me find the beats of the story and understand what specific parts people will respond to. Also I get to do goofy voices and make people applaud me, which is just great. 

So I’m curious...is there a writing project you've ever walked away from?

MS: OH YEAH. I wrote a novel in college. I spent years writing and editing it, then one day I looked at it and realized, "wow, goddamn, this is trash." HOWEVER, I don't think that experience was a failure. It showed me I have the stamina and dedication to write and edit a novel. It also showed me that's not how I wanted to make my book debut. Writers (and I'm preaching to myself here) tend to think that just because we're good writers everything we write has to get published. Not necessarily. There's value in just doing the damn thing and getting the desk drawer novel out of the way so you can move on. What about you?

HC: Oh man, would you believe I had almost nearly the same experience?

MS: What?! For real??

HC: I wrote a terrible, unreadable YA novel in college. It was about superheroes. I cringe just thinking about it. And I spent years plugging away at the fucking thing, I finished it, I read the whole draft...and I was like "jesus god, this is not a good book."

MS: But you got it out of the way and you learned a ton in the process. I know I did. 

HC: Oh, totally. I learned how to outline a big project, a ton about writing dialogue, I learned a lot about what I do and do not like in long-form fiction... And I also learned I am not good at writing it. Ah well!

MS: So for our curious question-asker, it sounds to me like they want to know what to focus on and what will be generative long-term, but the truth of the matter is that no writer knows that––not for themselves or for you. But I can guarantee that whatever you choose to focus on, regardless of whether or not the end product gets published or even comes to fruition, it will be a worthwhile experience and you'll be glad you did it. You’ll pick up valuable skills for your writing toolbox that you might not have gotten otherwise. 

HC: I would agree. I think our reader would benefit from just letting go of the anxiety to create something perfect and just enjoy creating something that they like!

MS: I recommend they read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Say what you want to about her, but I struggled with everything our reader is asking about until I read that book and it changed my whole game. 

HC: Oh, you know I'm a Big Magic fan. I so appreciate the way she tells you to take the pressure off of yourself to "be a WRITER!!!" and instead just, like, write shit. And accept when it doesn't work, and learn what you can from the failure, and keep on chuggin' either way!

MS: THANK YOU. When someone shits on Liz Gilbert it's a red flag for me.

HC: Same. You know that super-condescending tone some people use to mention books from Oprah's Book Club? Red flag city. Dealbreaker. No second date. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life! And neither does our reader here. 

Speaking of: I'd encourage our reader to find a way to play a bit. You know? Do something to remind them of what writing feels like when it's joyful. Like, for example, our zine was a super-fun project with no goals whatsoever. Nobody paid us or asked us to do it, I think we sold maybe... twenty of them? But it was so fun and we both learned a ton.

MS: OMG, yes. And I have people asking me all the time when the next issue is coming out. 

HC: We'll do it soon! Harder to do since we can't be in the same room in the near future, but we'll find a way.

MS: Plus it gave us a chance to work together (cough cough hang out and do collage crafts all day) and just have fun. 

HC: It's easy to forget that the value of creating art isn't just a finished product. It's the way it lets you connect to people in such a unique way. The joy is the purpose, for me!

MS: Exactly. Writing definitely gives me a sense of purpose. It also helps me make sense of the world (which is inherently fucked up when you think about it) and process things. Even when I'm writing fiction, I'm still processing life shit, you know? I don't want to say writing is a form of therapy because I believe in actual therapy... but yeah. 

HC: Oh, writing is 150% therapy for me. No shame in that.

MS: I get the sense that making more writer friends would help our reader normalize the range of emotions that comes with this kind of work. 

HC: Yes! Like, didn't you feel like a maniac before you made friends with other writers?! I feel like before I met you and our writer's group I was just wandering around like "WHAT ARE WORDS, WHY DO I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS, HELP."

MS: My god, SAME. I felt like a sheep bleating into a void of existential dread. Now I know these feels are all normal! Our reader may feel scattered and all over the place with writing, but honestly that just means they're doing the behind-the-scenes work of creating well-rounded characters. That's not a flaw, that's part of the work. 

HC: Yeah! I love that you called that out. What this reader is perceiving as clutching at notes might just be their brain doing the processing it needs to in order to create their work. Maybe instead of trying to halt that process, it would be good to just sit with it for a while? See where it goes?

MS: Yeah, for sure. I will also say... I get the sense from the reader's question that they're feeling rushed and that's part of why they're so worried about what to focus on and what will be generative. People love to praise youth when it comes to talent, particularly in the arts. There's no point in feeling bad about myself for being 29 and not having a book out yet when others in the arts younger than me are years into their professional careers. It's not too late and the past couple of years I've spent writing I've only gotten better, more dedicated, and more joyful in my work.

HC: I agree with that 100%. First off, children are awful writers. We all know this. Nobody cares what a six-year-old has to say about shit.

MS: Right? No one cares that you wrote captions in your coloring book about ponies and called it a novel, kid. 

HC: Secondly, I would argue that developing your voice AND developing your skills to the point you can execute to your vision of what a piece should be AND living enough life that you actually have something worth saying? That takes time, my dude. Time and patience. And it will not happen on your timetable.

MS: Exactly. Writing is like fine wine. 

HC: Yep...and if you're doing it right, it looks like a mess of squished-up grapes for about 90% of the process. Just a big goddamn juicy mess that makes something delicious and complex, but you don't get it without committing to the mess and being very patient regarding the results.

So in summary, I think our advice to this reader is to stop pushing herself so hard to pick projects and do work and just try to let go of her writerly anxiety. Make friends with other writers who can help normalize these big thoughts and feelings and help her process them. Try some new stuff and veer towards things that spark joy. Don't worry about results, just enjoy the process and trust yourself to have something good at the end.

MS: Agreed. Dude, this was fun as hell. 

HC: Yes, it has been a delight. Thanks for mulling over this question with me! You always know how to get to the heart of a writing dilemma.

MS: Yes!!! This was seriously the highlight of my day. I love it when we put our heads together.